Product of Winter

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Winter has officially gotten the best of me. Every year around this time I hope that it will be different, and it isn’t.

I’m not the type of person that doesn’t like to be in control, so it’s especially frustrating when I cannot even control my own emotions. I don’t write on my blog about my depression for pity or attention–it’s simply an outlet for a topic that I feel many can relate to, especially during this time of year.

Each year I have noticed that I have found a new way to control my seasonal depression better, and have found ways to learn from it and strengthen my mind and emotions. Some days are worse than others, and today has been one of my better days. I’ve been realizing a lot of different things lately, and have decided that a way to beat this winter’s defeat is to focus on myself.

I could not wait to get out of Leelanau County and leave Traverse City.  I couldn’t wait for new friends, new experiences, and living on my own and on my own terms.  Six months into living on my own and in a bigger city, I have come to realize that the city is lonelier that I ever could have expected.

I don’t know anyone. I have no one. I am a very social person and love to meet new people and make new friends, so going to a new school should be easy for me right? Wrong.  Artists or people who think they’re artists, are a different kind of breed.  Don’t get me wrong, I’ve met many amazing artists and hold friendships with a lot of creative people, but most of the people I’ve met at Kendall have not been the people I thought were going to be my people.

That said, I suppose I am a lone wolf.  Is that the worst thing in the world? No, but having friends sure makes the winter more enjoyable.  Homework is getting harder this semester, the workload is piling up, and I think the best thing I can do is focus on myself, my work, and continue to develop my aesthetic as a designer.

Being away from home has made me appreciate it so much more.  A classmate told me the other day, “you are a product of your hometown.”  Some people may take that offensively (she meant it in a positive way), and while I weighed both meanings of that statement and what I thought about it, I have realized that being a product of my home is the best thing about me, and everything I do is inspired by the most beautiful place in America. So, I’m okay with that.

Much Love,

Chelsey

Hi, Hello.

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Hey there, strangers.

I haven’t written a blog post since May, and I’m okay with that. I’ve been busy, and quite honestly, my life hasn’t been interesting enough to make it blog post worthy. I worked all summer, and pretty much wished it away to get to where I am now, here at Kendall.

I’m really happy! Now that I’m here, the reality that I’m close to achieving my goals is really apparent. There is SO much inspiration here, I don’t even know where to start. I want to create, I want to succeed, I want what I create to have a positive impact on someone, or make them feel beautiful. I’m ready to go.

I’m sick of having a shop full of just scarves and jewelry. I have all of these great ideas and clothing designs, but not enough construction skills to prove it–or the equipment for that matter. Sure, I have a sewing machine, but what a lot of people don’t understand, is that certain sewing machines do certain things, and I need a serger sewing machine, to do a lot of the creating I would like to, and right now my money is mostly going to groceries, rent, and loan payments.

I start learning more about clothing construction next semester, and I can’t wait! I could probably try to wing it right now, but I want to do things the proper way. I don’t ever want to sell something that I think might fall apart or rip as soon as the person tries it on. I still have a lot to learn, but I am actually far ahead of a lot of some of the students in my program. Some students have never even touched a sewing machine!

I am applying to see if I can get a job at my school, so that I can make some extra cash, but still have the flexibility of going home on breaks (when the school is closed anyways) and working back at Haystacks during longer breaks. My roommate and I are participating in a window display contest! We are assigned a storefront downtown, and we have to come up with a display design, present it to the store owner, and then make it come alive. The 1st prize is $1000, so we are definitely going for it!

My apartment is adorable, I love it, and I love learning how to cook new recipes and running things myself. I feel like a true grown up 😉

XOXO Chelsey

You’re Not a “Plan B” Kind of Girl

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You’re Not a “Plan B” Kind of Girl

“The one that loves you isn’t afraid to say it. If he loves you, he won’t even blink because the idea of giving another man the chance to swoop in is just unacceptable.”

Ashlin Horne

DeathtoStock_Spring7You deserve better than someone who is afraid to commit to you. It may seem like enough for now. You’re just taking things slow. Oh, how I know those little phrases of “one day” and we just need time.

You believe them.
And I’ve believed them.

But you’re not a plan B kind of girl.

You need to know that you’re not the invisible one standing in the back who gets chosen last.

You’re the girl who the team captain will be frantically hoping doesn’t get picked by someone else before he gets a turn. You’re a first-pick kind of girl. And no one worth having sits back and lets those girls wait around.

‘Cause every good man knows that the good ones get gone fast.

He should be jumping out of his skin in anticipation to call out your name and say “I pick you.”

“But he’s…

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Passion or Pregnancy? You Pick.

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I bet you’re only reading this because of the title, aren’t you?  Well settle in, you’re about to read a piece of my mind.

This year has been my best year of college so far.  Reflecting on it, I’ve gained some of the best friends that I could’ve ever asked for, was welcomed in by Skyler’s awesome family, got accepted to Kendall, made the Dean’s List, and learned so much about art, drawing, art history, and so many valuable skills that will help me succeed in the Fashion Buying/Merchandising world.  

Every time I visit Kendall I just get overwhelming feelings of excitement.  That’s the passion I have for what I’m doing.  I went down this past Thursday to stay the night with my roommate and go to a sewing seminar and had a blast!  When you walk into the Fashion Wing at Kendall, the first thing you see is a line of mannequins wearing student work.  When you walk in the door there’s fashion illustrations on the walls and sewing machines, Industrial sewing machines, sergers, more mannequins, fabrics, cutting tables, you name it!  It’s a fashion students dream.  

“Studying fashion, taking a semester abroad, and finishing up in New York City at the Fashion Institute of Technology to earn my BFA” isn’t something many people can say when asked what their plans are.  I’m so excited for all that I’m achieving and experiencing.  For those who don’t know, once I get my BFA in Fashion Merchandising/Buying, I plan to get a job somewhere doing that, and once I’ve earned a big enough nest egg, I plan to come back to Leelanau/Grand Traverse County to open up a store front or two.  The goal is to own my own shop and make “Poppy Things” a reality, not just online.  Who knows, maybe the name will even be different by the time I get there.  

What’s making me reflect on all of this via a blog post and want to share what I’m doing?  Well, the topic of pregnancy.  I’M NOT PREGNANT. I REPEAT, I AM NOT PREGNANT.  That said, recently it feels like every time I scroll through my news feed someone new is announcing that they’re with child and they’re usually my age…. 20.  Don’t get me wrong, I have at least 3 friends that were teen mom’s or became pregnant while in college, and they’re great mom’s and great women.  But, seeing all of these pregnancy announcements lately makes me angry and wonder why these girls couldn’t be more responsible?  I’m Pro Life, but adoption is an option.  Mistakes happen, any woman including myself could get pregnant by accident but, there are condoms, birth control pills, Plan B, and there is access to all of these in an affordable way if you don’t have the money for them.  

What makes me the most upset about young women getting pregnant is that they won’t ever get to experience being their age.  If they choose to keep the baby, they’re forced to grow up to the average parenthood age of 25 or older in the course of 9 months.  They have to figure out how they’re going to afford food, clothing, diapers, a home, transportation, doctor appointments, etc. On top of trying to juggle a job to pay for all of these necessities, because most likely they’re a single parent.  

There are success stories, but very few.  I just wish some of these girls would make better choices and choose to finish school, get a job, and then start their lives and make a family.  I feel that some girls do it for attention or to fill that “missing gap,” and be a better parent for their baby than the parent that they had, but at 20 or below, our minds just aren’t developed enough to make that choice.  Plus, there are so many couples out there that go to bed sobbing every night because they can’t conceive, yet this teenager doesn’t even consider that this couple can give her baby a better life than she ever could.  IT JUST MAKES ME UPSET!! The world would be a much better place if people just gave their decisions a little more thought and did what is right.  

I’m going to get a lot of angry comments and messages for this blog post, but I don’t really care.  I hope it gives someone the courage to make the right decision, to practice safe sex, or even to further their education while raising their child.  That’s the end of my rant, feel free to yell at me.

XOXO Chelsey

 

I’m Going to Hogwarts!

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Well hello there, blog! I haven’t written anything in two months, and quite honestly, not much has changed in those two months.  I have exactly seven days left of my sophomore year of college, whattt?! I’m going to be a junior in college, already? I feel so old! I turned the big two-zero 11 days ago, so that’s cool.  All of my near and dear friends made sure my birthday was wonderful.  I feel pretty loved 🙂

As you can imagine, since the semester is winding down, I have a boat load of work to get done. (Yet, I’m here blogging instead. Procrastination at it’s finest.)  I’m ready for this school year to be over, and to be back in Fishtown working full time.  Over spring break I went down to Grand Rapids to check out my new home.  I got to meet my new roommate, who is completely adorable, and see our apartment!  I’m really excited, our apartment is pretty spacious and I think once I get settled in I’ll have a great time.  

I registered for classes, and I’m just all around in love with Kendall.  It’s pretty much like Hogwarts for artists! I have two years at Kendall, and then I transfer to the Fashion Institute of Technology in New York, for fashion merchandising/buying, which I believe is only for one year and then I receive my degree.  

I’m really happy right now, I’ve got some great friends, the weather is starting to warm up, and summer is almost here.  That’s all I have to report for now.

 

Much Love, 

Chelsey xoxo

Sadie Hawkins: My Love Life in a Nutshell

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I’ve had a lot of time to think this week, and after my last blog post, Right Girl, Wrong Time, I got to thinking, “what is it that I’m doing wrong?”  Then it hit me. 

Ever since I can remember, every boyfriend that I’ve had is because I’ve been the one to ask them out.  Every boy/man that I’ve dated says that they prefer that over “playing games,” and chasing the girl, but maybe it’s time I stop being the initiator.  I remember in PRESCHOOL, having my Grandma April help me write a love letter to Jimmy Murphy, so I could tell him how much I loved him and wanted to be his girlfriend.  Well, when I handed it to him he said, “gimme that!” and then proceeded to rip it up– but the point is, I’ve always played the love game in reverse.  

From the 7th grade until now, I’ve only had one boy ask me out– the rest of those relationships probably wouldn’t have happened if I didn’t have the “courage” that I did to say, “hey, I like you, wanna go out for coffee?” or, “you’re cute, kiss me.”  Seriously, I’m not even sure how I swung that. 

A handful of those relationships were life lessons, some major heartbreak, and some teaching me to continue to raise the bar high.  Lesson after lesson, boy after boy, I’ve finally had enough.  Jokingly, I’ve considered becoming a lesbian or a cat lady, but then I remember that I’m only 19 and I have more time than I think.  

People ask me over and over, “you’re so talented and so creative, why do you care so much about finding someone?”  Well, as much as I want to be successful, there’s something that I’ve always wanted even more than a great job.  A happy little family of my own, with the greatest husband/father to my spawn that I can find.  This contradicts some of my other blog posts a bit.  I try really hard to write about women empowerment and “not needing a man,” and maybe I’ve always wanted a great love to fill in the gaping hole of my “daddy issues,” but I truly believe that women should be able to be successful and live out their fairytale love if they want it badly enough.  

So, with that being said, I’ve decided to stop trying.  I’ve decided to stop being the initiator, to stop being the one to find them.  When the time is right, I’m sure someone really wonderful is waiting out there for me, but until then, I’m just done.  After some chats about my most recent heart break, it really doesn’t make much sense to date right now anyway.  I’m moving to Grand Rapids, then to New York, plus the opportunity of studying abroad.  From experience, long distance isn’t exactly a piece of cake, and I most certainly don’t want to miss out on once in a lifetime opportunities because I’m hung up on someone at home.

So, the Sadie Hawkins Dance is over.  I’m going to keep my urges to myself, and my love locked up.  I have a lot of love to give, I’m just trying to be more careful about who I give it to these days.

Much Love,

Chelsey xoxo

Right Girl, Wrong Time

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I always seem to have the unfortunate luck that whenever I fall head-over-heels for a man, the relationship always ends with the footnote: “You’re the right girl, but it’s the wrong time.”  Granted, this has only happened to me twice, but each time equally as hurtful.  I’ve heard the, “well if I had met you two years ago I would’ve wanted to marry you,” or the, “things would work out better if I was able to settle down and my career wasn’t just taking off.”  True statements, I’ll give them that.  But something I wonder often is, what happens when they’ve achieved their career goals, get done with their day, and come home to an empty house?  No one to celebrate the life they’ve built for themselves with, no one to hug and tell about their day, and nothing to look forward to except to wake up and start another day of work over again.  

I tend to be attracted to men that love their careers more than me.  That’s okay for right now, I’m young, they’re young, we absolutely should be focusing on our goals–but what pisses me off is that I’m really supportive, and put their futures up on a pedestal, when I should be focusing on mine.  I’m tired of being Mrs. Right at the wrong time.  I’m just Chelsey now, and I intend to keep it that way for as long as I possibly can.  This ol’ heart on my sleeve is getting tucked in.

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I’m not writing this to bash the men that have been in my life, they’re great, they did/do treat me really well, and things are on good terms all around (maybe not after this is posted?).  I’m writing this to convince the young women out there, and myself, that YOU should come first.  Whether you’re in high school or you’re a college student in your 20’s like me, put yourself before any man (or woman if you’re into that.) 🙂

What do you want to do with your life?  Do you want to be a doctor? A magazine editor? A pilot?  Well, what’s stopping you?  If you believe you can, you will.  There was a point in my life where all that I wanted was to be a wife and a mom.  I still want to be that someday, and I believe that I will be, but before then, I’d like to accomplish my goal of owning a storefront or working for the fashion industry.  I want to travel, grow, and learn.  Now is the time for us, as young women, to be selfish.  

Before you spend your whole life living to please others, remember that you have to make yourself happy, too.  

Much Love,

Chelsey xoxo